doing everything i can to move to liverpool.

peace canada.

looking for love through a stranger’s window

i’ve lost touch with it all. where do i go

eight months.

it’s been eight months since i met this girl and she hasn’t given me any time in my head without her there at all….

but she’s given me all the time without her near me.

this is awful.

matron;revisited

i remember,
sweetly, succinctly,
your red brown hair
and worn down hands.
i can see it:
the weight beneath your eyes
weary … tired …
worn down with love.
i never forgot this.
i never forgot this.
it was your fall
your fall drove me
so far away, down the 401,
out to sea, to the big city.
it was your fall that lost you
to me. i was your son.
blood and bone through.
i was your son.
may be that i am again.

nostalgia is kicking my fucking ass right now. so many things i’ve fucked up. it’s like i go out of my way to make sure i’m unhappy. why try so hard for a girl who just knocks me down? they say “love conquers all” but what the fuck is it conquering? my ambition to pursue romantic interests. i despise lovers and those in love. despise and envy. fuck it. i’ll dry myself into a husk and turn into dust and maybe then i’ll get blown around into love.

who starts work tomorrow?

yeah it’s me. and i’m stoked. in one week i was fired from a shitty job i hated and got two brand new jobs… without even having a cell phone. sometimes life fucks you for a while and then, finally, lets you fuck it.

give me three weeks and i’ll take you out for a beer or six.

and fired again

unemployed again. bummer.

oh well. i’m fucked anyway.

you can only put so much effort into something before it drains you deader than the dust behind your dresser. i’m dead. i’m dying. so many things at once, like always.

who cares. that’s the question. i need to meet some new people…. and get a new job. and figure my shit out.

two or three friends just isn’t enough.